I get a lot of labor intensive, kinda crazy ideas that I would like to do to our house. I informed my husband a few years ago that if I'm ever sitting quietly, looking around a room, he didn't need to wonder what I was thinking about. 99% of the time, I'm thinking about what I could do to that space. My brain just does that. So, when I start a sentence with, "I was thinking...", he groans.
Now, let me backtrack and say that he goes along with the majority of my plans and only asks for about two square feet of space next to his bed where he can pile books and not have any froof in his way. He goes out to yard sales with me, he fixes furniture with bubbled veneer, he lets me paint a room...well...a lot of times and it doesn't faze him. There are times, though, when he draws the line. I'm all excited about some big plan I have and he is totally not on board. I know this is not uncommon, because I receive e-mails asking how to convince a husband to paint a bedroom set. I'm certainly not a marriage counselor or an expert at the art of compromise, but here are some suggestions...
Remember it's his/her/their home, too. I try to remind myself of this when my kids spill their drink on the carpet or have toys all over the place. My husband lives in our house, too, and it has to be comfortable for him. He doesn't have strong opinions about home decor, but he insists that things are functional. I try to pull one over on him here and there and slip a pretty French chair in place of our comfy slipcovered wing chairs. He walks in the room, says, "nope" and I moved things back. It's his space, too.
Find a way to express your vision. Not everyone has a good imagination. You may want to crop some pictures or share some examples of the look you want or what your idea is. Do this with sincerity, though, not in a manipulative way. If you want to paint your kitchen cabinets and he's dead-set against it, show him some pictures of painted cabinetry and see what he thinks. Give him time and don't pressure him.
Work around it. I've seen some amazing rooms designed around pine paneling. See the restrictions as a challenge and allow it to push your creativity instead of frustrate you. If you feel frustrated, go back to my first tip...it's his house, too.
Lastly, it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. OK, TOTALLY kidding on that one. Don't just plow over anyone who stands in your way. In the end, it's not worth bad blood over painting a dresser or getting rid of the really awful camouflage recliner that's been the "fly in the ointment" of your family room for 10 years. Stuff in the end is just stuff. And while we all love to decorate and we're passionate about our homes, it's not more important than the people in our lives and their happiness in the space that should be the most comfortable place on earth for them. Right?
Now, I've gotta go try to convince my hubby that board and batten would be amazing in the master bedroom...
